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No Shame


Dear me,


This is an invitation to approach advocacy for mental health and general wellbeing without shaming those whose practices may not adhere to the standard conventions being espoused.


We've all either experienced it or been the cause of it at some point. Social media is rife with comments like "I don't get people who think their 16-hour work days are a badge of honour" or "People who spend long hours at work are probably less effective than those who have work-life balance".


I have certainly received and given my fair share of "You are going to burn yourself out if you don't take a break". When on the receiving end of these remarks, no matter how well-intentioned, it stings. There is a moment when I feel like I am the problem - even if I frankly I am feeling pretty okay otherwise. Am I ok to be feeling ok when people seem to think that I shoudn't? And if I happen to be a little frayed at the edges and in need of a break, believe me when I say that the frustration I feel is just amplified by comments like that.


The point of mental health and wellbeing advocacy is to make sure people feel safe and supported to share their challenges and receive help they may need. Advocacy that is a blizzard of 'you should' and 'you shouldn't' does not do that. It holds an individual to a yardstick that perhaps is not where their harmony lives.


So the next time I am tempted to tell someone what they should or should not be doing for their mental health and general wellbeing, I am going to pause and ask them about their journey rather than give them a destination. 


Love,

you

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